Fever

I want to put myself to sleep,
and you, and the rest of the world, as well -
all at once.
[I think it is part of the sickness within me.]

I writhe about in the sheets -
[oh my dear, don't listen to a word I say] -

My eyes no longer see straight.
They have become pupils of coal,
irises of flame.

There is fire in my throat,
and fire in my head,
it crackles away at my thoughts,
and lights up my whole bed -

Now, all light comes from ME!

[Please promise me you'll be steady.
Please, please promise you'll be stronger than I am.
I don't understand any of it, and I don't mean a word I say,
I tell you.]

I want to put out the moon!
I want to put out the stars!
I'd sink down into this blazing river,
were it not for your grip on my arm -

Now I howl and claw at your hands
[You'll always have scars, you know -
oh, my sweet sweet darling] -

[please please please
my heart my honey my gold
believe me when I say this, only this:
I am not myself]

Oh, what has become of your dear one?
She is demon
monster
werewolf
whisperer of siren songs and
raving somnambulist

***

Will you make me to swallow ice water?
Will you take my temperature throughout
the night,
and lay cool cloths across my forehead?
Will you trust me
when I tell you that you must not trust me?

If so, I warn you -
you will have to reach beyond reason
(I went there long ago).

Oh, how can I ask you to accompany me in this descent?
How can I subject you, too, to the inferno of my mind?

Can you survive it?
Will you?

Your tears are cool upon my face.

I try to remember how, hours ago,
when the delirium first struck,
you found me crawling out of the window -
tip-toeing along the ridge and towards the gable -
I believed that I was walking into the
white-hot flames of the moon.

You stumbled after me.
You caught me into your arms
in the nick of time;
you
saved
me
from
the
fall.

You carried me inside.

It won't be much longer now -
It can't be -
It mustn't -

Please, just hold my hand.
Kiss me -
it keeps the fire at bay.

At dawn,
once the fever has broken,
and when I have awoken,
where will the two of us stand?

Will you have grown tired and frightened?
Will you have fled in the night?

Or will you be asleep in the chair,
thermometer in hand?


Copyright © 2011 by Olivia Meldrum

My 2011 Poetry Out Loud experience - as a judge!!

As some of you may know, I participated in Poetry Out Loud: National Recitation Contest. The nation-wide competition for high schoolers begins on the classroom level, then goes on to the school-wide, regional, state, and finally national levels. In 2007, when I was a sophomore in high school, I won the Pennsylvania state championship. It was an incredible blessing - nationals in D.C. was a dream.

That was four years ago. Last month, I was invited by the Pennsylvania Council on the Arts to be a judge at the 2011 state finals. I was shocked and honored - and of course I took them up on the offer! The March 14th competition even coincided with the first day of my spring break - it was really meant to be. You can read the PA Council on the Arts' press release here - I'm mentioned in the article! Above are some pictures from the Governor's residence, where the event took place.

Judging my near-peers was certainly an experience, especially since they were in the exact same position that I was in my first three years of high school! I have to say that it was quite strange to be on the "other side", for once - it was very nice to not have to worry about remembering lines, and to just enjoy the show. :)

Some Satoshi Kon lovin'

I recently saw the Japanese animator and film director's Paprika, and I really, really liked it. I didn't love it - but it was good, and the animation was some of the best 2-D animation I'd ever seen.

Just watched an older film of his, Millenium Actress, today.

Um, I LOVED that.

In fact, by the end of the film, I had been reduced to a small, pathetic, blubbering puddle of goo.

asdfjkl;Satoshi Kon. I can't believe that he's gone now, and that we won't be getting any more of these amazing works of art. :(

ALSO.

Probably unawares, Kon was basically presenting C. S. Lewis' theories on Sehnsucht in this film...

"After all, it's the chasing after him I really love..."

Go. Watch. Now.

On my Christmas break bookshelf

It always breaks my heart to observe how little reading I get done during each school semester (I mean, reading outside of my classes). Hurray for a return to reading for one's self!!

What I'm munching on right now:

The Power and the Glory by Graham Green

A collection by Flannery O'Connor including Wise Blood, The Violent Bear it Away, and Everything That Rises Must Converge

That Hideous Strength by C. S. Lewis

The Story of a Soul by Saint Thérèse of Lisieux

So yeah, a bunch of Catholic giants...and then Lewis. But hey, Lewis was about as Catholic as a Protestant can get, after all ;)

I just found

an ENTIRE WEBSITE devoted to the story of Cupid and Psyche in art.

I'm going to have to investigate this further... :)

By the way, the image in my header is none other than Edward Burne-Jones' Cupid Finding Psyche, from his cycle devoted to the ancient Greek myth!

My book of poetry available for purchase!

I've finally published my book, The Soul Sings. It is available here. Please consider helping out a young artist who needs college funds desperately!

Thank you all for all your love and support.

Olivia

An update on my book-to-be

3/15/11 UPDATE: yesterday, my mom sent an email to Mr. Mark Shea over at Catholic and Enjoying It!, telling him about my book and asking him if he might have the time to post a little blurb about it on his blog! Well, he did, and I'm so grateful/excited!! If you are one of Mr. Shea's blog readers, thank you for taking the time to visit my blog and check out my book! Your interest in my work and your prayers are greatly appreciated. :)

Mark Shea is a well-known Catholic writer and speaker, and his blog covers everything from politics to literature to film to humor to moral issues, and much more, all from a Catholic perspective! Check him out!

***

So, in case you haven't already heard, I'm planning to (soon!) release my first book via lulu.com, a self-publishing site. It'll be a small collection of poetry that I've written over the past few years, and will be titled The Soul Sings. Prayers would be greatly appreciated – both for this book actually coming to fruition, and for it to sell once it's ready to go!

Here is the tentative table of contents. A few of these I've already posted on Splendid and Delicious.

The pieces which I still need to tweak/complete are The Girl From the Nursery, Crowned, Lock Them in the Closet, and The Young Man and His Teeth. If, by the end of July, I have not yet completed these pieces, I will cut what is unfinished from the manuscript. Of course, I'm shooting for all of the below being included!


PROLOGUE: Mourning Doves

I. THE SOUL SINGS OF OTHER SOULS

Summer
Mother to Child
The Girl From the Nursery
Mary, Mary

II. THE SOUL SINGS OF THAT FROM WHICH IT CAME

The Pelican
Crowned
You Say; I Say
Falling
Odysseus

III. THE SOUL SINGS, IN SPITE OF THE DARKNESS

The New Tantalus
Lock Them in the Closet
Song Before Daybreak
Vigil
The Young Man and His Teeth


So...stay tuned! :)