Monday, May 7, 2012


This is what has been on my heart lately.  Beauty, which is one with Truth and Goodness, can and does change everything.  We need to spread the word!  We need to start a revolution!  And we, the artists, need to buckle down and get to work, for we are the custodians of beauty.

xo
Olivia

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Sunstroke: Chapter 2


Here's the second installment of my novel, Sunstroke.  The first chapter can be found here.  Enjoy!

***

It was three o' clock. Percy had been in his room for hours. He'd tried reading, writing to faraway friends, whistling to his pet cockatiel, rearranging the suits in his wardrobe, and trying to see how many different kinds of bows he could tie with his cravat. Now he was sitting at his desk and staring at the wall. A painting hung there, of a beautiful young woman on horseback stooping down to smile at a man in a full suit of armor. Percy blinked at it. He knew that he needed to find a woman to marry soon. In fact, it was odd that his father hadn't brought it up that morning. He sighed, slid off his chair, and slipped into the hall.

His eyes flickered cautiously to each of the faces of the footmen lining the luxurious corridor. Their expressions were still and blank. None of them met his gaze. Percy finally resigned himself to staring at the carpet. He walked along, hands clasped behind his back.

Things hadn't been the same ever since Father had forbidden the servants to converse with the members of the royal family. The level of familiarity that had developed between the higher and lower classes in the house, he said, was vulgar. Real nobility these days were able to maintain appropriate boundaries between themselves and their servants. Percy knew that, technically, he was running a risk every time he spoke to Marion about anything other than clothing. He didn't care. Percy also knew that the warmth between his family and the servants had begun years ago, when his mother took a newly-orphaned scullery maid under her wing. It had only blossomed from there. He turned a corner smartly, his steps deliberate and stern.

As he'd expected, Musetta and Soleil had gathered in the elder girl's bedchamber. Light streamed through the windows into the colorful, charmingly disheveled room. Percy smiled. His shoulders relaxed.

Gowns were strewn across furniture and shoes tumbled out of the closet. Books had been arranged in precise, precarious stacks all over the carpeted floor. A small army had formed on either side of Musetta's four-corner bed. The girl herself lay sprawled amongst the sheets, her face blue-white in a pool of glossy black hair. One of her hands languished against her forehead in what was presumably a response to either something very romantic, or very dreadful. Percy eyed her skeptically. He peeked around the door to examine another colony of costly, hardback books.

“Etta, you realize that the library's missing a considerable chunk of its inventory, yes? Poor Gérard has become very anxious.” The librarian was a nervous little man who found his obsessive organizational habits to be both a blessing, and a curse.

“I've always felt like a prisoner,” Musetta murmured in deep, labored tones, “but now I feel as though I've received a death sentence. One day. We have one day left, brother.” She lifted her other hand to cover her face, uttering a muffled moan. Percy exchanged smiles with Soleil, who was perched upon Musetta's green velvet writing chair, knees drawn up to chin. The little redhead seemed to be mostly herself, too – the color had returned to her face, and her eyes were shining. Percy went to sit at his youngest sister's feet.

“I have some news, my dears,” he began. “Now, don't fly into a frenzy,” he cautioned, glancing at Musetta. “Father has ordered us to start wearing colors again – starting tonight, at the ball he's planned.”

“What ball?” Soleil sounded concerned.

“Apparently, it's a going-away affair for the three of us. It'll just be the usual families. Nothing to be anxious about. If you want, I'll even be your escort for the night.” Percy smiled, trying to coax away the suspicious wrinkles in Soleil's forehead. Finally, her gaze dropped.

“You don't have to be. I'm fine on my own.”

Colors,” Musetta muttered. “Are we to look like circus clowns, as well?” She sat up indignantly, tossing her dark mane over her shoulder.

“Etta,” Percy said calmly, “you need to become more understanding. He loved her before any of us even existed. We must allow him his own way of mourning.”

“Is he mourning, or is he mentally deranged?” Musetta's eyes flickered.

“According to the doctor I've employed, he's perfectly sane; he's simply expressing his grief in a very extreme way. Perhaps all of this is his way of saying that he just can't handle us right now. If we make an exit at this point in time, maybe it will give him the opportunity to begin to heal.”

“You're on his side,” Musetta said, scowling.

“Musetta,” Percy said sternly, getting to his feet. “This has nothing to do with sides. And Father's right, to a point. It can't hurt us to try to become a bit more like other people...our age,” Percy fumbled. His eyes had landed upon a book that lay face-down on Musetta's nightstand, set apart from the others. Fairy-Stories of the East, it read. It was Mother's last gift to her, for her nineteenth birthday.

“He never wanted us to be different, like Mother was different. Free, with lively hearts, and open eyes and arms...” Musetta was pounding her fist into one of the pillows. Percy could see her trembling.

“Etta, stop it.”

“I'm so sick of this country!” she cried, pulling at the sheets. “I don't care that we're at peace. So what if all of our soldiers are safe and no one's trying to usurp Papa's throne? We're not at peace. We're not! Look at what happened at the masque in March! It was supposed to be beautiful. And the affair turned into one big occasion for all of the noblewomen between ages five and eighty-five to gossip maliciously about one another. You know Marie and Suzanne? Just days before, they had been gushing to me about how they doted on each other, how close they had become – and then proceeded to stab each other in the back, repeatedly...it seemed to be over some boy? How could anyone possibly remain sane in such an ugly, senseless world? And I stepped into that ballroom with high hopes of being immersed in the Romantic, the Faërie!” She clasped her hands to her breast, and Percy could see that all the melodrama had vanished: there were tears in her eyes.

“And then, of course, there was that pig Jean-Pierre Renaud. Ohhh -” she growled. “I know you still think I made a great to-do about nothing, but you weren't there. You didn't see what I saw. He had his hands all over her!”

“Why are you acting as if I don't care?” Percy could feel his face and neck getting hotter by the minute. “I believed you. I took action. I told him to get out of my house, and he did!”

“He tried to seduce our little sister! And he's nearly twice her size - who knows what would've happened if I hadn't showed up! He should have been arrested. You could've at least given him a good punch in the jaw!”

“And what – start a fight with a drunken idiot, in front of all those people? I'm the crown prince!  I - I couldn't very well make a scene, could I?” To his indignation, Percy could feel tears starting in his own eyes. He glanced helplessly at Soleil. She seemed to have withdrawn into her own world. She was staring blankly, just like one of the servants.

“We need to start making scenes! We need to start stirring up the waters! We can't just stand by anymore, pretending that everything is just fine, when things are clearly not!” Musetta's chest was heaving in shaky breaths. “If this is what it means to be a king's daughter, then take my nobility away. I'm done with it. I don't want it anymore. Let me be a peasant, one of our mother's secret allies, and I'll start a revolution in her name!”

“You need to grow up, Musetta,” Percy said quietly. “This is your life. You don't have a choice.”

She had a choice! She lived and breathed love, and beauty! And when she was in a room, she made everyone else present a better person. And now look at this kingdom, Percy. It's falling apart without her. Our king is going mad. These people need goodness, they need wonder, they need magic! It's the only thing that's going to save them!”

“And what are you going to do about it, Musetta?” Percy shouted. “Reach into one of those fairy books and pull out a genie? Wish her back to life?”

Musetta bristled, her eyes full of comebacks, but then she stopped and deflated into a slouch. She bit her lips and shook her head. “Please just go away, Percy,” she said wearily. “I can't do this anymore.” She turned away and collapsed back onto the bed.

Percy stood numbly in the center of the room. He felt like a useless mannequin. He walked slowly over to Soleil and knelt down before her.

“Sol,” he said, “do you want me to reprimand that man?” Soleil shook her head, her brows furrowed again. Her face was like the work of a master sculptor, even when it expressed pain.

“I don't want to bring scandal to our family,” she whispered.

“I know, and that's very sweet of you, but it would be unjust to simply ignore this. Do you want me to privately reprimand him? His punishment can be in secret. No one needs to know.”

She nodded, her face crumpling over. Tears glistened in her lovely auburn lashes. “Alright,” Percy said.

He got up and walked to the door. There he stopped and turned around.

“I'm sorry,” he said. He couldn't think of what else to say. He hung on the doorknob lamely. “I'm doing everything I can. And I love you both.”

“I love you too, Percy,” Soleil said softly. Musetta was silent.

“Make yourselves look festive. Just one more night, girls. We can do it.”

“I suppose we may as well go out with a bang,” he heard Musetta mumble as he closed the door behind him.

Copyright © 2012 by Olivia Meldrum

***

Thanks for reading!  Stay tuned for more!

Friday, May 4, 2012

Ash and blood

A Lenten scribbling I just rediscovered in the margins of my Mariology notes.


***

You're moths turned to soot
in the flame.

I reach through the fire
to seize and kiss your dusty hands,
my little chimney sweeps.

Blood and ash,
ash and blood.

My heart gapes open,
my veins are singing your name.

Draw near,
and let me
kiss the blood back into you.



Copyright © Olivia Meldrum 2012  

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Pomegranate


I asked some friends to each give me a one-word prompt with which to write a poem.  I was trying to see how quickly I could pump out decent writing, because I am generally a real slowpoke.  This is the result of "pomegranate".  Naturally, a certain ancient Greek myth came to mind.  Here's my little contribution to the haunting canon of Persephone poetry!

***

Let it be thus known
to every girl from this generation
forward:

forbidden fruit has many seeds.

'I can test it,
I can taste it,
for my mother is the Earth
and the spring always comes
back to me.'

But now there is black
under your nails,
on the soles of your feet;
the earth is dark within this night.

Did you know how
cold the winter could be,
outside of your mother's arms?

Now the fruit you aimed to test
will turn to fire in your mouth;
the purple seeds to
embers on your tongue.
They will test you to see if you are
fit to once again
run barefoot through the grass.

By night, you lie beside your
demon lover and dream wide-eyed
of sunshine.
You count down the days upon
your pink-stained fingertips -
only three more weeks till March.

(You plot your some-day great escape
into your home above.)

Like it or not,
you are girl no more -
you show your true colors:
pink, orange, and crimson.
The season has ripened you into
a fruit that swells,
despite the frost.


(c) Olivia Meldrum 2012

***

Image: "Proserpine" by Dante Gabriel Rossetti

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

An open letter to C. S. Lewis


In which I spill my guts to Clive.

***

Sir, I cannot wait to meet you.

Something tells me that we will be seated fairly close to one another, at the Banquet Feast.

I can't wait.

I read the Chronicles when I was very little, and then my life was void of your work for several years. The next thing I picked up was The Pilgrim's Regress, as a 12- or 13-year-old. I came across all your talk of the “sweet, unnameable desire” and was blown away. I suddenly realized that I wasn't alone. The thing that I had experienced for as long as I could remember was real. More importantly, it had a meaning; a very real and very sacred purpose.

Just as Psyche draws us towards the Grey Mountain with her own aching longing; just as Jewel beckons us ever on with his cry of “Further up and further in!”, so do you stand as a beacon of burning desire, to all those who care to stop and look. Can this desire be perverted in life; filled with frivolous and unsatisfying things? Of course. But, in the final analysis, this desire is the very force through which we will be saved and set free, for it is the desire for Heaven; for Home.

You were no stranger to desire; nor were you a stranger to true darkness. It runs, in all its forms, like a fine thread throughout all of your works:

'I'm on Aslan's side even if there isn't any Aslan to lead it'...”

No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear...”

And now Psyche must go down into the deadlands to get beauty in a casket from the Queen of the Deadlands, from death herself; and bring it back to give it to Ungit so that Ungit will become beautiful....”

'It is not for nothing that you are named Ransom,' said the Voice...”

And yet, you do not present suffering and pain and heartache with the intention of glorifying or wallowing in it. You show us its purpose: to beautify, renew, redeem, sanctify. You never show us the malady of despair without also revealing the remedy of hope. You remind us that darkness will never have the last word. You remind us that our Lord is with us, in the midst of even the deepest night. He soars through the storm like an albatross and whispers, “Courage, dear heart,” to the Lucy Pevensie in us all.

You have inspired me as a writer, a lover, a Christian, a human being. I have no adequate words to express how you have impacted my life. That will have to wait until I, with my glorified body, stand before you, with your glorified body; with our glorified mouths we will converse in the tongues of Heaven (while drinking glorified tea).

Until then - thank you, thank you, thank you.

Love,
me

***

I found the above picture of Lewis' handsome face here.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Sunstroke: Chapter 1


This is my first installment of a novel I'm working on, entitled Sunstroke. It's a fantasy loosely based on The White Cat, a literary fairytale by 17th-century French writer Madame d'Aulnoy. I'm not nearly as confident in my prose as I am in my poetry...but I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I've been enjoying writing it. :)

***

"Other loves may sink and settle, other loves may loose and slack..."
- G. K. Chesterton

***

Genevieve dreamt only rarely, but in this moment, she knew that she was asleep. The sun was there with her - or, at least, there was something very large and warm that shone above her head. There was fruit in her mouth, too; at least, she tasted something sweet and ripe. It was the ripeness of peaches, or plums; the bleeding dark of cherry-meat.

And then, there was something hard at her throat – sharp, and cold, as of a sword’s edge.

No. No, that’s the locket.

It was the locket that drew her through. Genevieve realized with a pang that it was morning, and that she was lying in bed.

She attempted to unfold her arms, which had been bundled up beneath her while she slept, and had fallen asleep. She worked her fingers slowly, feeling the claws glide in and out. Once the prickling had ceased, she burrowed once again into the sheets, and her hand pulled the locket out from under her nightdress.

It was a large, golden heart, upon a matching chain. She opened the delicate clasp. Inside was a minutely - detailed portrait of a young, blond gentleman.

She hid the image by closing her fist a little harder than was necessary. She shifted her focus to the white canopy that arched over the bed, and frowned. She had forgotten to close the drapes the night before – either that, or she had had a visitor in her sleep.

Oh, of course she knew that he stood at her left side. He seemed to be always beyond her shoulder, always just past the corner of her eye. She took a deep breath, and twisted to look out of the window that the bed-curtains had left for her. A tall, young man stood there, dressed all in warm, yellow brocade and white lace. He had golden hair, and a beautiful face.

Genevieve allowed her gaze to dip in and out of his blue eyes, travel down the gentle line of his jaw, and across his lips. He smiled. Genevieve waited and didn’t let herself blink.

“It’s you,” she murmured, her voice raspy with sleep. That tipped the scales. Her eyelids wavered, and she looked away.

“Careful, Gen; you’ll tear that pillow.” His voice was soft enough to drive a knife through her chest. She felt her face crumple and fall apart.

“You still come and catch me - you still tell me what I need to hear! Nothing could ever keep you from that; isn’t it true?”

There was a long silence. Then - “You wanted to speak to me,” he said. She spoke.

“I wish I could sleep for a thousand years and wake up when things are different.”

“That is not what you truly want, Gen.”

“I dare you to say otherwise.”

The echo of the last words wafted over her, leaving a fine frost on each attentive whisker.

When she opened her eyes, he was gone.

***

Percy hated the mornings, at least lately, and as he fluttered into consciousness and blinked at the dark bed curtains, he remembered that he hated this one especially.

He crawled out of bed and shuffled into his slippers. He shuffled over to the window. Shuffling seemed to have become his primary mode of locomotion in recent weeks.

Shuffle, shuffle, shuffle. What if I puttered, for some variety? He puttered towards his chamber door, where he was met by the entrance of a somewhat flustered valet.

“I beg your pardon, your Highness, I didn't hear you ring.”

“Oh.” Percy blinked. “I forgot to. I'm sorry about that, Marion.”

The valet bowed his head.

“How's father?” Percy asked, looking down at his toes. There was a long pause.

“His Majesty is the same as he has been,” Marion answered gently. “Although you know that it's not my place to speak of such things, your Highness.”

“I know. You know that I'm simply very concerned.”

Percy didn't speak anymore to his valet, except to briefly answer questions about his clothing preferences. The old servant moved deftly about him, with the ease that comes with years of familiarity. Percy felt like a knight being suited for some formidable battle. He stared bleakly out the window of his bedchamber, which showed a sky still dark with night. He yawned, and his eyes bleared with fatigue. He waved away the offer of a breakfast tray.

“Wait,” Percy said, just as he was about to leave. “Where's my mother's charm?”

“Here, Sire,” Marion said, holding up a little golden sun strung upon a length of twine. “It was under the bed. Must've come off in the night.”

“Thank you, Mar,” Percy said, slipping the twine over his head and placing the sun against his heart.

Percy trudged down at least five corridors and as many flights of stairs, accompanied by guards. (He wondered if guards were truly necessary.) They stopped once they arrived at the large double-doors of the king's meeting hall. They waited a few moments before the doors swung open and the king's prime minister stepped out.

“Good morning, your highness. His majesty will see you now.”

Percy said nothing. He stepped forward into the hall, and made his way towards the center of the floor. The king stood facing him, leaning forward against the wooden railing on the judge's platform. His eyes were roving about the room flightily, without resting anywhere for long. His fingers tapped continuously – the railing, his leg, the back of his neck – just as they had been doing for months.

“Come forward, Percival,” the king said. Percy shuffled forward a few more steps. He glanced up and over to the seats on the left, where two girls - one dark and slender, the other red-gold and petite - sat huddled together. Percy noticed that his breath was visible in the chilly air, and he gave a sigh, sending out a sleepy puff of steam. It's too cold, for April. Too cold...

“Percival, you need discipline,” the king began. “You're twenty-one now, and who knows how much longer I'll be here. You need to...become a different person, Percy. It's not enough to earn good marks in your studies, and be well-liked, and be able to handle a sword decently.”

The words tumbled out in a harsh, halting wave. The king was pacing back and forth, as if explaining a war strategy. Percy stared at the floor.

“You're too soft, Percy! You spend most of your spare time with your little sisters. Boys your age are going hunting with their comrades on a weekly basis! Their male comrades,” the king added, shooting a glance at the girls in the seats above. “I haven't seen you socialize with boys your own age for weeks, Percival!”

“That's because the ones I know are all animals,” Percy said quietly.

The king clicked his tongue impatiently. “Oh, please. It's not all that bad.”

“Most of them.”

“You're not being trained to be a perfect gentleman, you're being trained to be able to intimidate! To be someone who will be feared and obeyed!”

“If you say so, father,” Percy murmured.

The king was now practically stalking about on the platform. He looked rather unsteady; Percy wondered if he might be drunk.

“I am sending you away, tomorrow. You're going to take a good, lengthy holiday. It will last a month or more. You'll stay with some distant relation of your mother's, one Mortimer, who has kindly offered to open up his estate to our family as a location for retreat. I've decided to take him up on his offer immediately. He's going to train and school you. With any luck, he'll turn you into a real crown prince.”

Percy blinked, stupefied by this sudden news.

“Oh, and you'll go along, too,” the king added, waving at the two girls. “Someone needs to shape you into normal, fine young ladies. You'll get the finishing school treatment, so to speak. Learn how to walk properly and make pleasant conversation, and so on.”

Percy stole a look at his sisters. They were too far away for him to really read their expressions, but he saw Musetta gaping in indignation, and Soleil's head dipping wearily beneath its great crown of auburn curls.

“Naturally,” the king continued, “you'll be separated. Girls, there's been enough of this coddling your brother. This problem is all the result of having shared a nursery all together for too long. And your mother certainly didn't help, filling your heads with all that fairy-tale nonsense. What a shameful waste of your precious time.”

Percy bit the inside of his cheek. The stone floor blurred over.

“Please, father,” he spoke up, trying to keep his voice steady. “Don't speak of mother in that way.”

“In what way?” The king drew up stiffly. Percy bit his lips, at a loss as to how to respond. “Your mother and I understand each other perfectly. We have our differing opinions regarding our children's upbringing, but we're both willing to make compromises. The only thing that I require is that all three of your start being treated like normal adults from now on!”

Percy felt sick. “Father,” he said helplessly, “Father, please. She's not here anymore. She's dead.”

The king turned his back on his children and walked slowly to the far end of the platform. He held his arms taut at his sides, his large, pink hands balled into fists.

She's dead. The words echoed, bouncing off of the walls, off of Percy's temples.

She had been a faerie-woman. She'd glided through the castle corridors, spreading magic in her wake. (It seemed to stream from her long, auburn hair.) Most of her subjects secretly held that she was elven, and outside of the castle walls, the people made no secret of it at all. Tales abounded of a green-eyed, redheaded lady in hood and cloak coming to ill peasants by night and healing them. No one knew whether or not the king was aware of these rumors, or, if he was, what he thought of them; but it seemed as though Queen Viviana had the power to mollify anyone - even him - with her sweet, sparkling smile. She was queen of the kingdom; she was queen of the kingdom's heart.

And she had become suddenly, incurably ill.

The healer had fallen sick. The lively one. It didn't make sense. It was stupid, and unfair. Percy bit the words into the inside of his cheek.

He looked up from his black shoes and stockings to his father, who was dressed in a ridiculously flamboyant ensemble of red and blue. The only person in the room not in mourning. He had never dressed like this as far as Percy could remember, not even when his wife was still alive.

Percy knew what had happened: Father had always had a hot temper, and he and Mother had quarreled, right before she fell ill. Initially, Father had treated her sickness with haughty indifference. By the time the physician realized that she was dying, she was too delirious to hear Father's apology.

Percy felt the simmering anger that had been building inside him subside. She's dead, he thought. And now he's dead too. Mama, why did you have to go? He needed you most of all.

“You're all dismissed,” the king said. He still stood with his back to the court. Percy noticed his hair – gray, rumpled, and greasy-looking.

Percy turned and made his way up to his sisters. Their faces were white and blank. He took them each by the hand and led them out of the hall.


Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Interested in helping out a starving artist/poor college kid?

To your right ---->

you will see a donation button! All offerings, of any size, are most welcome. I'm finishing up my junior year of school here at Franciscan University, and, as it is with many other students, meeting my monthly expenses is a struggle. If you've enjoyed reading my stuff up until this point, please consider making a contribution to help keep me in school for one more year (or at least to cover a coffee to get me through the day...).

Please spread the word!!

Also: I'm going to start posting a novel I'm working on in excerpts/chapter-sized increments... stay tuned! :)

God bless,
Olivia